July 7

What does a bull do racing across space in a cold, metal pod? Can his mind endure? Say this were to happen for years. His final and long-awaited landing would be blissful, but also confusing as all hell. It would come as a surprise to the bull that his previous years of charging, fighting, and protecting in the fields had not, in fact, been a dream.

I use this shitty allegory to bring you closer to a heart that has longed yearned for action, held back by a head of bad habits, and the deadly allure of crumbled feta and tomatoes between slices of eight grain bread, with curry powder and hot sauce.

July 7

When Pigwonzadrep called, informing me of her being launched to California to rehab, it only took me a couple hours of mentally swaying this way and that, reading an opaque description of the place on the website, to decide that good institution or not, it was ADVENTURE TIME!!

[Adventure time

Cmon grab yer frands

Go to very

din

Distant lands

Jake the Dog and Finn the Human;

Fun, that never ends

Adventure TIME!]

And adventure I would! I bought the plane ticket almost immediately and argued with my mother that night. She was won over by the universities the counselors went to, because they weren't southern (There's more descrimination than that to come, my friends!!), and I countered by how pandering to paranoid parents the marijuana article was. It was settled because there was no real amount of information to sway us one way or the other, and old Pigwonzadrep would be overjoyed to see me anyway. With that, I packed my things, mapped out some places a hobo like me would enjoy in Las Swoozlers, California, and fell asleep.

And fell asleep.

God dammit Eftenbad! Go to sleep! What's wrong with you!?

This could be so terrible I mean what if her family is offended and they want to kick my ass what if I worry more by showing up what if my beard prevents me from entry? Should I cut the beard? How will I hear from her what if the damage is done before I can get there!? What if I have to pick the locks, making a daring jailbreak! Uuuuuuhuhuhuhu!